I suppose that I should start this blog by explaining my deeper journey into understanding the Christian faith, and why I chose to follow Jesus Christ and become a Christian. It is a story that I think all Christians should document and whatever manner they came to Christ is not any more important (to me) than any other persons story. The important thing is that we have come to the realization and understanding that God is not only real, but benevolent and loving. It is through the understanding of God as a Triune being and being completely omnipotent that we then learn our place in His world and understand how fortunate we are to live in it.
I began my life in a Christian family. My father was a Christian with a Protestant background, and my mother had grown up in the Seventh Day Adventist church (later to become a Christian who observed sunday). My parents had their struggles throughout life but I am fortunate to have had them as moral instructors, even if I may disagree with them sometimes I understand their points of view and am blessed to be able to call them mom and dad. When I began my education I attended a Christian school in Clearwater, Florida so where I excelled in Bible lessons and established a foundation for my faith. They divorced when I was 5 years old and my father moved upstate to Tallahassee, and I stayed in Clearwater with my mother and her family. As my years continued I found myself attending church with my Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Deb who helped me in fashioning my Christian identity, and my Uncle Joe and Aunt Lil (who were Unitarians) who helped me fashion my mind in a open-minded understanding of the world and it's philosophies. Eventually I met a man named Greg Paus.
Greg Paus was a youth minister at Jim and Deb's church and my Christianity was nutured by him for a while. He was present at my baptism, which was performed in Lake Wales at the age of 12. Eventually I came to a point where Mr. Paus confronted me with a startling claim. He told me that if I did not believe that Jesus Christ was "God in the flesh" that I was not truly a Christian. This was a startling claim to me, being only 12 or 13 years old at the time, and made me question the zeal I had for my faith. I don't think that Mr. Paus knew it at the time, but he forced me to reconsider my identity. I left the church not long after that discussion and I began to only attend the Unitarian church for the remainder of my secondary education.
As a Unitarian I began to go from being an active Christian who just happened to be tolerant of all worldviews, to an ardent believer in more worldly ideas such as:
• Communism
• Social Liberalism
• Atheism (Although I tended to stick with Agnosticism)
I began to practice behavior outside the Unitarian community that was not productive such as:
• Smoking Cigarettes
• Smoking Marijuana
• Using Other Illegal Drugs
• Selling Illegal Drugs
• Drinking Alchohol Heavily
• Lying Compulsively
As time went on I gathered around me people who would not point out my errors because they practiced the same kinds of behavior. I felt secure that these people would not judge me for what I was doing because they did the same things, so it would be hypocritical for them to pass judgement on me.
When I was seventeen I was skipping school all the time and sneaking out and stealing money to "party" with my "friends" and it came to a point where my mother gave me an ultimatum. Either I could conform to the rules of her house or I could leave and go live with my father. I ended up choosing the latter. My father came to get me and I moved with him to Tallahassee.
When I got to Tallahassee, my father and grandmother forced me to understand the value of hard work and enabled me to become a sober, clear-headed individual once again. At that point my father reintroduced me to Christ and made me read the Bible with him. I also began to read the works of Andrew Murray, Charles Stanley, C.S. Lewis, and others in companion with scripture. I got my GED at the age of 17 and began attending college at Tallahassee Community College. Things were starting to look up.
I don't blame anyone but myself for my eventual fall, let that be clear, but I met a man named Andy. Andy was a drug dealer, who was not very wise in his business practice, and I seized the oppurtunity to exploit Andy and to be an "advisor" to him in exchange for free drugs and access to the rowdy party crowd of Florida State University (which is quite active). I began to sneak out from my Dad's and stay in the city for days at a time. I began to use harder drugs, and eventually my studies were secondary to my party lifestyle and my grades reflected this. I had ruined my second chance, and left Tallahassee in disgrace. I returned to my mother and took my old job at KFC, and eventually became a rodman and instrument operator for a several private surveying firms in the area.
I met a nice girl and began thinking about marriage and starting a family at that point. But I had a deep conviction to have religion in my family life (because of my reversion in Tallahassee). That's when I met the missionaries of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
The Elders, as they are called, where named Grimm, Westwood, Steed, Bigler, Peck, and DeOlivera. I began a long journey where I eventually thought I would become a Mormon. The Mormon church's plan of salvation coincided with my own beliefs (at the time) of the separation of God the father, and Jesus Christ. I eventually tried to make my household a Mormon one. My girlfriend at the time, was incredibly opposed to this idea. She was not a Christian, but in fact had a Jewish upbringing. So with that I abandoned the process of joining the Mormon church (among other reasons) and began to learn about Judaism.
In my studies about Judaism (which is a vast and in-depth way of life more than it is a religion I believe) I met a man name Ronen Levi Yitzchak Segal. Ronen began to profess Judaism to me and I became a zealous believer in it's doctrine, I set Jesus to the side and followed this new path. Eventually Ronen committed suicide, which was heartbreaking, and I found myself without a leader and around that time my relationship with that woman had come to an end.
I began to live wildly again, drinking, smoking pot, abusing other drugs, and chasing after women. I eventually came to a point where enough was enough. Still professing Judaism at the time, I went to Tallahassee to visit my father and his family for Christmas in 2009. It was there in discussion with my father I felt compelled on the evening of December 24th to go out into the woods of my father's land and pray for the proper direction (to be honest at the time I was trying to decide whether I should stay Jewish or convert to Islam!). There I felt the presence of Jesus, I don't believe it's necessary to explain the details of this event, but I will say that Jesus Christ had stepped in and actively made me rethink the faith I had grown up with.
I began to look into Christianity again. I engaged in serious debates with my cousin Josh (the son of Jim and Deb) and challenged him to defend his Christianity, and he did. He talked to me about the understanding of the Trinity, he informed me that my old teacher Mr. Paus had passed away, and was very graceful in the way we communicated. Our debates made me question my half Jewish, half muslim worldview. I wrestled with the ideas and proposals he made, and around October-November of 2010 I fully accepted Jesus Christ as my savior in my heart and in January 2011 I professed this with my lips.
Before this open profession, I changed my life in a postive way. I no longer use drugs of any kind. I pray before meals, and pray nightly thanking God for the wonderful things he has provided me. I met a woman who shares my spirituality. I have developed better relationships with my parents and family.
I am thankful to God for everything he has given me, and am thankful for his son Jesus Christ, who has washed away my sins and allowed me to make steps foward toward a better future.
Thank you for reading, and may God bless you in everything you endeavor to do.
